Healthy Grief Essay Example for Free

Healthy Grief Essay The loss of a family member and/or loved one can put someone on an emotional roller coaster. Whether it is an expected or unexpected loss, the emotional process of dealing with the grief could be the same. With an expected loss, loved ones are able to prepare themselves for what is to come. An unexpected loss could bring more emotions into the grieving process. This paper will discuss the grieving process by Kubler-Ross, the story of Job, and the way Muslims deal with death and dying. While some people focus on the sadness of losing a loved one, others try and find the positive in the any situation. To grieve the loss of a loved one, many would say that they feel a lot of different indescribable emotions. Shock, disbelief, emotional pain, anger, and sadness are all some emotions that people feel while grieving. Kubler-Ross developed a five step grieving process that one should experience and move through so they can move on to a happy life (Lecture 5 Notes). The process itself is: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance (Lecture 5 Notes). It is easy for a person to not believe that a loved one has passed on as begin the grieving process (Lecture 5 Notes). Once the denial has processed and the loss has become a reality, it is normal to get angry and ask ‘why did this happen?’ Bargaining with God is the next step in the grieving process. Trying to make a deal with God to try and bring back a loved one gives a person hope that their loved one will come back. Once reality has set in, depression is the next step (Lecture 5 Notes). This is when the feelings of hopelessness set in, making it difficult for a person to pass this stage (Lecture 5 Notes). The last stage of the grieving process is acceptance (Lecture 5 Notes). This is the stage that helps a person emotionally move on from grieving the loss of a loved one. Life goes becomes a new type of normal with the memory of the loved one instead of the having the loved one there (Lecture 5 Notes). In the book of Job, Satan challenges Job’s faith and love for God, with God’s permission (Study Bible-NLT, 2008). Satan does everything in his power to get Job to not only doubt God, but to curse him as well (Study Bible-NLT, 2008). Satan killed his ten children and destroyed his livestock and servants (Study Bible-NLT, 2008). Job focused more on God and praised him as he mourned loss of his children and wealth (Study Bible-NLT, 2008). Satan then tried one last time by filling Job’s body with sores (Study Bible-NLT, 2008). The doubt of his wife and the negativity of his colleagues never gave him a change of heart. Job remained faithful to God, never doubted Him (he doubted himself at times), and still praised Him (Study Bible-NLT, 2008). God eventually replenished Job’s wealth and blessed him with more children (Study Bible-NLT, 2008). Job grieved in a very healthy way. He did not blame others and he did not curse God. He tried to find the good in every ba d situation. One religion that differs from Christianity and western civilization’s way of grieving the loss of a loved one is the Islamic religion. With death and dying, Muslims believe that there is life after death (Ross, 2001). It is believed that believers of the religion must practice the five pillars of Islam and live a righteous life on earth in order to have a different afterlife than those ‘unbelievers’ (Ross, 2001). People of the Islamic religion must mourn as they prepare for a quick burial (Ross, 2001). A loved one should be buried the day of death or the day after, not any later (Ross, 2001). In public, it is not of their norm for women to show any emotion at a time like this (Ross, 2001). Finding joy in the midst of losing a loved one can be trying. But like Job in the Bible, joy could come quicker if faith is not lost. Grieving is a challenging time to stay positive. Making the attempt to stay positive helps push one through the grieving process without getting stuck in one of the stages for too long. A good way to find joy is to continue to praise God and not to lose faith in Him. In closing, re-reading the book of Job in the Holy Bible has reminded me of how important it is to praise God in the midst of a storm. The loss of a loved one is tragic for anyone and grieving is a natural process in life. But if the focus stays on praising God and not losing faith, that grieving process can turn into a healing process and it is possible to find peace in the midst of grieving. God always has a rainbow waiting at the end of each storm, it just depends how long it takes for you to play in the rain before you get there.

Guide to Victorian Dance :: Victorian Era

Dance, Dancing, and Dancers: The How-To Guide to Victorian Dance It is with a great sense of responsibility and delight that I bring to you, young people on the verge of entering society, this short dissertation concerning the guidelines for cultured dance. I am confident that, as long as you adhere strictly to what is written in this manual, you will succeed in all your dancing endeavors. Dancer's Place in Society Due to the exquisite tastes of our Queen Victoria, dance, which is intimately aligned with musical ability, has become an integrated part of our society. Although the variety of dance ranges from the new Viennese waltz and the Sir Roger De Coverly to square dances and hornpipes, the most popular is the Polka. Learn it well ("Victorian"). As Mr. James Grant describes dance: " With what powerful emotions does many a fair bosom beat at the mere mention of it! It is the everlasting topic of conversation in the aristocratic circles" (Jackson). A Lady's Place in Dance Of all the things to remember, it is of the upmost importance to remember to properly present yourself as a sophisticated young woman. It is more valuable that your dress should complement your figure than be of the current style. Ladies must always be accompanied to a dance by an appropriate escort. Do not refuse a gentleman of your acquaintance a dance unless you have already accepted the invitation of another. If a gentleman with whom you are not acquainted asks permission to dance, politely refuse. Leaving the ballroom unaccompanied is unacceptable. When not dancing, avoid excessive whispering and chattering, and when dancing, always portray pleasure with your dancing partner. Finally, under no circumstances should a lady cross a ballroom unattended ("Ballroom"). Always portray yourself as a sophisticated young lady, remembering your duty to the host, to fellow guests, and to yourself. A Gentleman's Place in Dance Gentlemen are expected to know very well what is required of them. When asking a lady for a dance, use such phrases as, "Will you honor me with this dance?" or "Shall I have the pleasure?" A true gentleman will not sit next to a lady who is not an acquaintance of his. Under the circumstance that he knows her, he may ask permission to sit. Without proper introduction, a gentleman should not ask a lady to dance. White gloves must be worn at all times, taken off only to eat supper.

The Contemporary Life in Xijing, An Ancient Chinese City

In 1993 China was hit with an â€Å"event that caused a great literary and publishing earthquake†¦ † The Abandoned Capital hit bookstores in late July of 1993. This novel is Jia Pingwa†s graphic and sexual explicit insight on the contemporary life in Xijing, an ancient Chinese city. The novel never indicates time references but it is understood by readers that it is right after the Cultural Revolution. Jia is a well-known novelist that was famous for writing â€Å"pure literature. † So it was to everyone†s amazement that Jia wrote a novel that was so pornographic. The novel is about a middle-aged writer that engages in sexual immorality, deceit, and corruption. Many critics say it†s autobiographical but Jia denies all accusations. The Abandoned Capital was written in a way that Chinese readers have never seen before. During the Cultural Revolution self-indulgence was looked down upon, thus so was sexuality. The result of this was the ignorance of sexuality for the Chinese for years to come. To some, the sixty detailed sex-scenes in the novel were the first time they encountered sex. Jia, a peasant from the ancient capital of Xian, admits that he put the sexual content to keep readers interested but says his novel was really about the corruption of China. He further confesses that he got all his research from maopians, porn videos. Another reason for the shock from the novel was the fact that Jia had broken the three rules that they were so accustomed to by Chinese readers. 1) He downplayed the hero describing him as a â€Å"sexual pervert† with no power, no money, no influence and sex was the only way to escape his empty life. 2) He wrote explicitly about sex and 3) he did not offer a happy ending. Jia also said that he chose a writer as the main character because he knew them best. Not too many people see the novel†s true statement, which is the clear description of the â€Å"Chinese social system from the inside out. † Most critics see The Abandoned Capital as a novel with â€Å"unbearable vulgar sex scenes. † Yet I believe that bad press is always better than no press, and boy did Jia receive plenty of bad press. Actually the over all reception of the novel was pretty much fifty-fifty. Most of the elders and elite†s of China demanded if Jia was going to write about sex freely, why couldn†t he write it with some â€Å"beauty and depth. † Even Jia†s fellow writers poked at his writing saying â€Å"he wrote exactly the way he f***ed. † And then of course there are the feminists. They see the novel as an obvious â€Å"male chauvinistic† view of women. They say that in Jia†s eyes â€Å"women are playthings, having no business in life except being the object of male appreciation and pleasure. † They also added, â€Å"it†s as if Jia has never stepped into the twentieth century. Even the author of China Pop, Jiangying Zha comments on her distaste of the novel saying â€Å"all that dirt†¦ † As I said before, not everyone disliked the novel. Evident fans of the novel were merchants at local bookstands. The first print run of 480,000 copies was completely sold out within two months! By the end of 1993 the novel had sold over a million copies. The following summer rumors of a ban on the novel began going around. This of course gave the novel even more publicity and made Chinese readers even more curious. Other fans of the novel compared D. H. Lawrence†s Lady Chatterly†s Lover, which also contained sexual scenes, to Jia†s novel. One Beijing graduate student said reading both may cause a young man to masturbate but â€Å"with Lawrence he may feel a but ashamed of himself afterwards, but never with Jia! † And some bluntly say, â€Å"there is absolutely nothing perverse in this novel†s sex scenes. † A friend of Jiang adds that Jia is describing China†s current social system. With the â€Å"daily transactions of power, how people manipulate at all levels, the bribing, the networking, and the giving and receiving of favors. He further adds that people in the social system â€Å"know the invisible rules, and they know they can†t beat the system. They also know they can play along with this old game. † It is said that no other Chinese novelist has ever illustrated this picture so well as Jia. Another friend of Jiang†s is a business lawyer that agrees with the fact that The Abandoned Capital is the Chinese society in a â€Å"nutshell. † He even describes his encounters with taking advantage of the system. The Cultural Revolution left China with numerous changes. However, as noted earlier, the Cultural Revolution left China as uneducated about sex as a ten-year-old child. In the seventies sex and romance disappeared from Chinese arts and literature. During these times men and women stayed single while displaying interest only in the revolution. The children of the revolution grew up in a vacant environment. They were not taught sexual education like the U. S. Jiang herself had not learned about the birds and the bees until she was nineteen. It was so bad that movies with kissing scenes were censored for children. During the mid-eighties the reform years were in full swing. With it came the market of pornography. Guangdong, Fujian, and Hainan Island were the first mainland provinces to acquire the market. The flood of pornography astounded the Chinese government. There was nothing they could do to stop it. If they closed down one pornography ring a number of others would take its place. Every city and province in China has felt the effects of the flood of pornography. Some incidents include a television station worker that was so caught in his porno movie that he actually connected the wrong line and aired the movie to the entire city. Some companies award clients with porn videos. By far the most disgusting display is children under ten were among the audience in cinemas showing porn. The lack of sexual educational programs will just keep this industry booming. Where else will the Chinese â€Å"fill in the blank spot important to millions? † Some parts of the population watched their farm animals mate for their education. This led one couple to have â€Å"eight years of anal intercourse†! I believe without proper education on any subject leads to uninformed versions of that subject. Being a man I don†t totally think pornography is bad, but it shouldn†t be used for sexual education. Growing up in a Chinese family I know very well how the red children of the revolution felt. However, living in America, there were so many ways to be educated on sex. I myself learned the facts of life through television and friends. I also was privileged to receive sex education in high school. Taking sex ed really removed a lot of myths about sex for me. The times have changed and China has to change with it. China is always playing catch up to the rest of the world. Today sex is a freely talked about subject and China should realize this. Without proper sex education teenagers of China will be misled and probably endanger themselves. I believe Jia Pingwa didn†t write his novel to emphasize sex. I myself haven†t read the novel but I do truly believe that he wrote the fictional novel to describe his feelings toward the Chinese society today. Most bold writers are often misunderstood and this case is no different. Maybe living in America all my life has given me the freedom to think this way but if China would lighten up a little it would be only then the real learning begins.

Black men and racial profiling Free Essay Example, 1500 words

If this broader definition is considered, then racial profiling is an extremely common and regular activity of the police. According to an American lawyer, Randall Kennedy, â€Å"racial profiling occurs whenever police routinely use race as a negative signal that, along with an accumulation of other signals, causes an officer to react with suspicion† (Kops, 2006, pp. 9-10). History in brief The history of racial profiling includes investigation of the roots which gave rise to racial profiling in America. The research dates back to 1992-1994 when James Ruiz who was a faculty of the Criminal Justice Department at the University of Southwest Louisiana. In order to prepare for his lectures he surfed through various newspaper articles during which he noticed certain patterns of arrests occurring through months which were not normal. Firstly, most of the arrests were made for benign causes like changing lanes or following a car too closely. Secondly, most of the arrests took place in the eastbound side of I-10. Thirdly, significantly very few arrests were made from Louisiana as majority of arrests were made from every other state. Fourthly, a large percentage of those who were arrested were Hispanic. We will write a custom essay sample on Black men and racial profiling or any topic specifically for you Only $17.96 $11.86/pageorder now The final observation was that most arrests were made by Criminal Patrol Unit. Ruiz was with the New Orleans Police Department and hence had the authority to regulate traffic in I-10. He has never experienced motorists violating rules like changing lanes or following others. Most traffic violations that happened were either reckless driving or driving in drunken state. Since traffic violation is one major reason that subjected cars to search by police, therefore the above observations attracted the attention of Ruiz. The excessive number of arrests made in I-10 forced him to believe that either people on that side were more prone to violate traffic rules or else they were subjected to racial discrimination. The police stationed at I-10 were mainly from Louisiana State and they used several tactics. They positioned themselves in the manner so that oncoming vehicles would slow down and can be easily visible so that they can identify vehicles from stat es other than Louisiana. They would then stop those vehicles that were driven by black people and would summon dogs to sniff the exterior of the car. If in no way police could find any reason to further harass the black drivers, then they would simply revert to waiting for their next victim (Ruiz et al. , 2010, pp. 405-407). Experiences of African Americans This section includes the data of a research study conducted on racial profiling.